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Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate (平装)
by Roger Fisher, Daniel Shapiro
| Category:
Negotiation, Negotiating skills, Communication, Business skills |
| Market price: ¥ 168.00
MSL price:
¥ 148.00
[ Shop incentives ]
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| Stock:
Pre-order item, lead time 3-7 weeks upon payment [ COD term does not apply to pre-order items ] |
MSL rating:
 Good for Gifts |
| MSL Pointer Review:
An excellent follow-up to Getting to YES, natotiation gurus Fisher and Shapiro's new book is destined to be a classic. |
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AllReviews |
1 Total 1 pages 10 items |
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Howard Gardner (Hobbs Professor of Education and Cognition, Harvard Graduate School of Education), USA
<2006-12-27 00:00>
With exemplary clarity and thoroughness, and without one unnecessary word, Roger Fisher and Daniel Shapiro detail the five ways in which to mobilize emotions for effective negotiation. The volume is destined to take its place alongside Getting to Yes on innumerable bookshelves around the world. |
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Stephen R. Covey (Author of The 7 Habits) (MSL quote), USA
<2006-12-27 00:00>
Written in the same remarkable vein as Getting to Yes, this book is a masterpiece. Fisher and Shapiro beautifully explain how channeling the emotions in deeply respecting five concerns enables the negotiators to reach a mutually beneficial result. I truly enjoyed it and felt edified by it. |
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Terry Long (MSL quote), USA
<2006-12-27 00:00>
The ideas in this book are powerful. Simple enough to use right away, and powerful enough that they will make a difference in your life. They did in mine. The more I have applied the advice, the more I see how relevant it is in just about any circumstance. Take the advice on autonomy. I'm now much more sensitive to not impinging upon the autonomy of my boss. And I'm also more sensitive to not impinging on the autonomy of my wife. And it has improved both relationships. I think the real magic of this book is that it simplifies the emotional side of things. The authors are not afraid to boil things down to their basics. And I agree with them that emotions are so complicated, and what the book offer is a practical framework for dealign with emotions. Their 5 core concerns are important for anyone to know - and use. I highly recommend this book for anyone dealing with anyone. |
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Janet Britcher (MSL quote), USA
<2006-12-27 00:00>
Negotiations guru Roger Fisher has teamed with Daniel Shapiro to offer a valuable new perspective to the world of negotiations. For those in business, Emotions might not seem an obvious source of valuable data, yet they are. The authors provide 5 areas of core concerns which may be at issue during a negotiation. Those 5 areas provide a useful check list: appreciation, affiliation, autonomy, status and role.
Two recommendations about how to work with this list of core concerns stand out. One is to check with yourself first, to see if one of your own core concerns has been upset, as that may inform you about why your own reaction has become intense or anxious. This self-awareness can vastly improve effectiveness.
The other surprising recommendation is to notice the emotion but speak to the concern beneath the emotion, to address what's at stake for the person. In other words, be aware of the emotion but alleviate it by addressing the concern. They offer good clear definitions of terms, useful examples, some of which are humorous and even personally revealing by the authors. It can be read straight through and accessed again later for negotiations which have you stumped. For those familiar with Myers-Briggs, it's a great model for bridging the decision making dichotomies of "Thinking" and "Feeling". The model appeals to logic, expertise and precedent, as well as affiliation and appreciation. |
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Mike Thomson (MSL quote), USA
<2006-12-27 00:00>
Steven Covey calls this book a "masterpiece." I agree. Before reading the book, I knew that emotions play an important role in my interactions. But I had not realized the extent to which emotions can help my negotiations. And I had no practical framework to deal effectively with emotions. This book gave me the tools I need.
After reading the book, I now understand why people are excited about it. It offers 5 principles ("core concerns") that help you understand people's emotions and influence them. I was able to easily put the ideas to practice in some complicated contract negotiations I've been involved in these past few weeks. I used the advice especially from the chapters on autonomy and appreciation. The results were impressive. My relationship with the other negotiators - which have recently been somewhat strained - improved dramatically. The advice of Beyond Reason allowed us to recraft our relationship in a more positive light and made working together much more effective - and saved me and my company a lot of time and money and grief.
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John Matlock (MSL quote), USA
<2006-12-27 00:00>
In MBA school we are taught to negotiate with a lot of figures, charts, graphs, etc. Once all the facts are known, the decision is simple. The problem with that is two fold: 1. They are typically based on projections that may well not be true (remember the Edsel and the Convair 880). 2. They ignore the feelings of the other person involved, and feelings are very important. Sometimes (often) a decision is made that is not to the person's best interest simply because of feelings.
This book breaks down the five core emotions of feeling appreciated, alone, imposition, put down, trivialized. It covers business negotiation, but perhaps even more important is negotiating with teens (but not two year olds), the mentally ill (ex-wives included), the drunk in a bar.
The techniques described here are given examples in buying a small item, presenting a case to the Supreme Court, to discussing border disagreements between a couple of nations. In short, we all negotiate all the time, it works best when both parties feel that they got the best of the deal.
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Val Albert (MSL quote), USA
<2006-12-27 00:00>
I recently finished reading "Beyond Reason" by Roger Fisher and Daniel Shapiro. The book is centered on an idea that emotions play an important role in negotiations and provided an analytical view on how to best manage the emotional side of negotiations. While I was aware that emotions can have a big impact on a negotiation, or even a conversation, I really enjoyed the perspective that the authors offered on dealing with people who "abuse" the power of emotions, ranging from coercion by threat to playing on sympathy.
Although the advice of the authors was generally helpful, I sometimes questioned practicality of following the guidelines in day-to-day affairs. For example, the authors encouraged the readers to document and discuss each of the negotiations as part of constant learning process, often spending sixty to ninety minutes in follow up discussions. As a manager of a development team with frequent meetings, such analysis would put a significant damper on my productivity. However, I realize that the book is not intended to be followed as a "manual" and each person may have to make practical adjustments.
Overall, the book is a "must read" for everyone, not just frequent negotiators. In the book, I found a lot of advice on how to respect the emotions that govern the meeting in many different settings. Since I learn best from seeing complex concepts in action, the case study that concluded the book put a neat "bow" on a very enjoyable and valuable read. |
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Jeffrey Pilsitz (MSL quote), USA
<2006-12-27 00:00>
I heard about this book from a friend in my reading group. Seven of us get together each week to discuss a novel or nonfiction. At first, I thought: "Why should I read a book on negotiation? I don't negotiate for a living?" But the book made me realize, first of all, that we negotiate all the time - whether with our kids, spouse, car salesperson, etc. What REALLY struck me, however, was the "five core concerns" they discuss. I've always been taught to hide my emotions. And this book helped me figure out how to USE my emotions in positive ways. I now approach my conversations with my husband and kids much differently. A simple book, but for me: life-changing! |
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Elizabeth Sealey (MSL quote), USA
<2006-12-27 00:00>
This is the long-awaited follow-up to Getting to Yes (one of Roger Fisher's previous bestsellers). Fisher basically created the entire field of negotiation. And this new book is a great follow-up. It tells you how to deal with emotions - yours and the other person's - in just about any interaction. Fisher and Shapiro highlight five ways that you can improve the tone of just about any interaction (e.g., through respecting autonomy, affiliation, status, etc.). The result is that you can get what you want. I truly believe that anybody who negotiates - whether with family, a colleague at work, or a tough counterpart - can benefit from this book. It's written in the same tone as "Getting to Yes" - i.e., you can read it in a few hours. And just like Getting to Yes, there are a few big points that are completely practical. I negotiate a lot of tough contracts as part of my job, and the ideas in this book are practical enough to use right away, and have enough depth that I know over time I'll understand them more and more… |
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Blaine Greenfield (MSL quote), USA
<2006-12-27 00:00>
Beyond Reason: Using Emotions As You Negotiate by Roger Fisher and Daniel Shapiro had me hooked from the very first paragraph when it gave examples of situations that we all have faced at one time or another... the first involved a customer backing out of an agreement before the final document gets signed, the second had a car dealer telling a customer that his new car engine wasn't covered under warranty and the third had an 11-year-old telling you that she wasn't going to wear her coat on a cold winter morning.
Typically, rather than being rational in our negotiations in these situations, we turn to anger and behavior that does not help us get what we want... a large part of the reason behind this is that we don't take into account the five key emotions that are most critical to productive negotiations: appreciation, affiliation, autonomy, status, and role.
By considering these, Fisher and Shapiro contend that we'll be far better negotiators--and the other side will feel better about the process, too.
What really made this book so meaningful for me was the fact that the authors used so many actual situations, either that they've been through or that others have experienced... these ranged from work situations to marital discord and included attempts to find peace in the Middle East... a final chapter featured guest commentary from the former President of Ecuador, Jamil Mahuad, who explains how he applied interest-based negotiations theory to highly charged negotiations between his country and Peru on a border dispute in the late 1990s.
There were several memorable passages; among them:
- "If you find that you have stopped listening to the other person, ask yourself, "Am I done or are they done?"
In other words, have you prematurely stopped listening to the other person-perhaps because you are tired of listening to them or are uncomfortable with the emotions they are expressing?
- "Make yourself indebted to the other. Benjamin Franklin suggested that doing a favor can help build a link between you and another. Rather than doing a favor for other people, however, he suggested that you let them do a favor for you. Borrow a book or otherwise ask them for a small favor that is easy to grant. You become indebted to the other person, and that person feels both generous and connected."
- "Meet in person rather than via phone, computer, or e-mail. Personal
distance is better reduced by face-to-face conversation than through
e-mail, letters, or the telephone. Once you get to know someone in person, it is easier to avoid stereotyping that person or misattributing ideas to them.
Whether a negotiation involves Israelis and Palestinians, labor and management, or a landlord and tenant, face-to-face negotiation helps to humanize each of the parties and provides a greater depth of context. When people meet you in your office, you may want to avoid having your desk become a barrier. Former Secretary of State Dean Acheson regularly got up from behind his desk and moved to a chair near that of his guest. Roger has his desk facing bookshelves on the wall so that he can easily swivel his chair and greet a visitor who is promptly invited to sit nearby. Without a desk between you, it can be easier to build a personal connection." |
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1 Total 1 pages 10 items |
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