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How to Win Friends & Influence People (Audio CD)
by Dale Carnegie
| Category:
Personal improvement, Personal effectiveness, Success, Self help |
| Market price: ¥ 508.00
MSL price:
¥ 478.00
[ Shop incentives ]
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| Stock:
Pre-order item, lead time 3-7 weeks upon payment [ COD term does not apply to pre-order items ] |
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MSL rating:
 Good for Gifts |
| MSL Pointer Review:
Timeless, life-changing and most valuable advice on life skills. Recommended to everyone as a guide to live with. |
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AllReviews |
  1 2 Total 2 pages 12 items |
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An American reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-19 00:00>
To the person who gave it one star, who felt that Carnegie's advice encouraged people to be approval seeking doormats, you are missing an important point.
It is not kindness, appreciation or empathy that turns other people off. Doormats turn people off because they project NEEDINESS behind the kindness. You can use Carnegie's principles and at the same time not tolerate abuse or mistreatment. You can be likeable without coming across as "approval seeking."
Proof of this is the number of con artists and manipulators who instinctively use Dale Carnegie's advice to win people over for their personal gain. At no time do these people lower themselves, instead they use these principles to get other people to lower their guard and trust them.
Also, the reviewer didn't believe that listening to other people could make them feel close to you. That is hogwash. It is well known that many people begin to feel close to a friend or therapist who does NOTHING but listen attentively. Remember, people never really like or fall in love with you, but rather how you make them feel ABOUT THEMSELVES WHEN THEY ARE WITH YOU.
If a person is being abused or treated like a doormat, it is because they are tolerating or inviting the behavior in other ways. NOT because they are an attentive listener who shows praise and appreciation when its due. People who perceive themselves to be doormats are usually self-centered underneath it all, rarely giving out what the other person wants, but rather giving so they can look like a giver or a martyr, and THAT is what turns others off and creates the abuse. Finally, no good con artist or salesman would stick around for real abuse. If you are abused you have self esteem issues which are causing your problem, not a book about how to make other people feel special and drop their guard so you can make a sale. Come on now... |
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Alessandra (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-19 00:00>
have your life enlarge while making it easy for the other to tap into his enthusiasm, which he or she can then invest in you. Personally, I have learned lots about fishing, iron work, vintage clothes, Chinese customs, the Teflon coating process, and so much more, just by getting interested in what people around me have to share.
Then listen and try to be objective & open-minded. Ariel & Shya Kane also advise non judgmental listening in their second book, Creating Magical Relationships, as a way to strengthen a relationship. While this book is geared more towards romantic partnerships, their advice can also apply to a union of any other sort. As the Kanes as well as Carnegie explain, giving up the need to be right and choosing instead to work for a common goal, will ensure that the needs of both parties will be met in a more profitable & agreeable way. The Kanes' style is more direct, contemporary and fun to read. Reading both books together has definitely improved the quality of my relationships across the board. |
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1 2 Total 2 pages 12 items |
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